


In Your Head

by inourtownofpanem



Series: Adelaide Milton Series [4]
Category: The Enemy Series - Charlie Higson
Genre: F/M, Satan returns, probably should call an exorcist, the angst is strong with this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 15:26:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12279270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inourtownofpanem/pseuds/inourtownofpanem
Summary: AU TO ACCOMPANY BEAUTIFUL CRIME/WITHOUT EACH OTHER. After the death of Adelaide at Green Park, DogNut can’t seem to move on but there is one way to deal with losing her; listening to her voice inside his head.





	In Your Head

**Author's Note:**

> I was reading Deadline (as part of the Newsflesh series) earlier and I got inspired to write more on the AU of Adelaide dying instead of DogNut – this will be set after Without Each Other though, for obvious reasons. This is going to be pretty short but I hope you enjoy all the same.  
> Once again; if you don't understand what's going on, you'll need to read Beautiful Crime to fully understand who Adelaide is and her story with DogNut. Trust me, all will become clear as soon as you do that.

It had been two months since **_it_** happened – since Adelaide was taken away from him. And those two months had been hell. They say it gets better in time but from what DogNut knew; that was all bullshit. If anything, it gets worse in time. Everywhere he went, he was reminded of the girl he loved so much. Whenever he saw long brown hair, he thought of her. Whenever he saw a baseball bat, he thought of her. Everything he saw, he thought of her.

What made it worse was that he could hear Adelaide’s voice inside his head and there wasn’t anything he could do to make her go away, he’d tried too many times and it never worked. He didn’t control Adelaide, she did that on her own. Even in death, Adelaide refused to obey anyone’s rules except her own.

Sitting down at one of the tables at breakfast, DogNut felt a familiar warm pressure on the back of his neck and on his arm, causing him to smile a little to himself as he took a few mouthfuls of his porridge. “Good morning, babe,” he muttered, not caring that some of the kids turned to stare at him once he spoke to thin air.

_People can year you when you talk to me, y’know. Good morning to you, too, by the way._

“Yeah, yeah; and I don’t really care.”

 _You should, people are starting to think you’re crazy, but then again; it wouldn’t be the first time._ She laughed at that, and it made him chuckle a little too. He imagined her head tilting back as she laughed, her eyes closing as a hand clasped over her mouth; just like she used to.

“Oh, shut up,” DogNut muttered through his chuckles, taking another mouthful of porridge.

_Make me._

**_Oh, how I wish I could._ **

_I heard that._

“Sorry, I kind of forget that since you’re in my head, you can read my thoughts as well.”

Adelaide chuckled a little. _You’re fine, babe. Ed’s coming, I’ll disappear._

Before DogNut could protest or even say a goodbye, Ed sat down beside him, patting DogNut’s shoulder as he did.

Ed felt awful for DogNut. Knowing how much Adelaide meant to him, and to have her die right in front of him would’ve been completely heart-breaking. DogNut hadn’t been himself ever since he returned, he somewhat looked after Esme but he was somewhat distant from his friends.

Well, what was left of them.

Ed noticed the necklace fastened tightly around DogNut’s neck, knowing that it once belonged to Adelaide – just another thing to help keep Adelaide’s memory alive.

“You up for going out today?” Ed finally asked, dropping his hand from DogNut’s shoulder.

DogNut nodded, forcing himself to smile. “Yup, I’ll be ready to go in about ten minutes.”

Ed didn’t look convinced and grimaced as he looked at his friend. “Even with… y’know…” he trailed off, a finger tapping the side of his head, obviously referring to Adelaide.

DogNut’s smile dropped and he glared at Ed, gripping his spoon. “What about her?”

Ed swallowed hard, obviously trying to find the right words to say. “Well, it’s just that you haven’t been as focused as you used to be since…”

As Ed spoke, DogNut got more and more angry and he knew that he was five seconds away from raising hell.

_Baby, don’t._

“Quiet down,” he muttered quietly before turning his attention back to Ed. “I can still do my job, Carter. Why’s it such a big deal that Adelaide is with me, huh? Actually, you know what? No, don’t answer that. We’re done here.”

DogNut slammed his spoon down and stormed out and back to his room, slamming the door behind him. Adelaide stayed quiet, not really wanting to say anything that might make him angrier.

“They’re all fucking insane,” DogNut muttered to himself, trying to calm himself down as he held onto the bookshelf in his room.

_Says the boy who hears the voice of his dead girlfriend inside his head._

“Don’t say that,” DogNut muttered, the grip on the bookshelf growing tighter with every passing second.

_Say what? That I’m dead? Here’s a newsflash for you, DogShit; I **am** dead. You wanna keep living this fantasy that I’m alive? You **really** are crazy. If you don’t remember, I was stabbed by a Gym Bunny, I died in your arms and then you cremated my body. Last time I checked, that makes a person pretty much dead._

“Shut up.”

_You know I’m right, DogNut. Can’t deny the truth for long, my love. Hate to be the barer of bad news but it’s true._

DogNut wanted to turn around, see the empty chair and remind himself that it was all inside his head. Then he could get on with his life and Adelaide could go back to just being her usual self – and perhaps not being angry at him.

After a few short breaths; DogNut couldn’t take it anymore, he turned around to the chair that was empty several moments beforehand but now held an occupant. There she was in all her glory. Adelaide. One of her slender legs was folded over the other and her hands were gripping the arms of the chair. Still dressed in her t-shirt, shorts, ripped tights and combat boots – she still looked exactly the same when he last saw her. Although, the only thing missing was the large stab wound in her chest – not that he really minded that.

“Surprised to see me, Jacob?”

When DogNut didn’t answer Adelaide shrugged and continued.

“I would’ve called you by your last name but I don’t know it so the first name had to do.”

DogNut reached out towards Adelaide only to have her stop him by raising a hand and shaking her head.

“I’m still a figment of your imagination, Jay. I’m not actually here, no touching. How does it feel to be officially insane?”

DogNut couldn’t help but smile at her comment as his hand dropped to his side, grabbing a chair from his desk and bringing it in front of Adelaide. He didn’t say anything, and kept staring at Adelaide.

Adelaide sighed, rolling her eyes. “It’s not like we have all day, you know. They’re going to come looking for you sooner or later – probably sooner, let’s be honest – and you really don’t want them to find you like this.”

“They’re used to me talking to myself,” DogNut said quietly, the power of speech finally returning to him.

“To yourself; yes, to me, no.” Adelaide shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong, we both know that I’m not really here. But we also know that we have a lot of work to do.”

DogNut didn’t say anything, almost as if he’d lost the ability to speak once more.

Adelaide sighed, slightly annoyed. “DogNut, are you even listening to me?”

“I miss you so much.” DogNut finally said as he looked down at his feet. He couldn’t keep looking at Adelaide, he wanted to hold onto what little sanity he had left inside of him. “I mean, you know that, and I know I’ve been talking to you this whole time and it’s obvious but I just need to say it. God, Addie… princess, I miss you so much.” He stopped for a moment then hesitated before adding quietly, “I don’t think I can do this without you.”

“You have to.” DogNut heard Adelaide stand up from her chair, the sound of her heavy boots walking towards him and stopping in front of him. He saw her kneel down but refused to look at her. “DogNut, look at me.”

DogNut raised his head, seeing Adelaide’s warm brown eyes look back at him almost completely convinced him that she was still there as a flesh and blood human, not just a pile of ash and dust somewhere, left to blow across what was left of London.

A warm hand was placed on DogNut’s cheek, one that felt so **_real_** to him. “You can do this, I believe in you. You’ve done this before, and I know you can do this.”

DogNut swallowed hard, his eyes closing tightly as a tear made its way down his cheek as he felt Adelaide’s forehead press against his. “I can do it,” he answered, his voice shaking a little. “For you, I can do it.”

He felt Adelaide smile as her lips met his for the briefest of kisses. “Thank you. And I miss you, too.”

DogNut kept his eyes closed for a moment before he slowly opened them, only to have Adelaide gone and the chair and the space in front of him were empty and cold once more. He wiped away his tears with the back of his hand until they were dry.

Adelaide didn’t reappear which was probably a good thing in his case. He looked around his room one last time before he picked up his jacket and his katana and left his room.

During the Pathfinder’s meeting, DogNut was almost completely mute with his second – Keren – taking over and telling the rest of the group what was going to happen and where they were going to go.

Seeing Adelaide in the somewhat flesh had really messed with his head and of course Ed seeing him as too crazy to really do anything caused his head to be filled with endless questions and possibilities; but he would never mention anything to anyone – he’d probably only talk to Adelaide about them.

Standing in front of the gates, DogNut watched them slowly open and felt a slight anxiety rise within him. “You still with me?” DogNut muttered, holding on tightly to his katana as his hands shook a little. He felt a warmth on his hand and his shoulders, his shaking slowly coming to an end as he felt warm lips on his cheek.

_Until the end._


End file.
